Marriage is one of the most important journeys in life, a bond that unites two souls in love, compassion, and a shared commitment to Allah (SWT). In Islam, marriage is a significant act of worship, meant to provide tranquility, love, and mercy between partners. Allah describes this beautiful union in the Qur’an:
“وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ”
“Wa min āyātihi an khalaqa lakum min anfusikum azwājan litaskunū ilayhā waja’ala baynakum mawaddatan warahmatan inna fī dhālika la’āyātin liqawmin yatafakkarūn.”
Translation:
“And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are signs for those who reflect.”
(Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21)
While love and mercy are fundamental to a successful marriage, young Muslims today must approach this sacred journey with intentionality and purpose. A successful marriage is not built on fleeting emotions but rather on mutual understanding, shared values, and sincere communication. At NASFAT Counseling, we encourage youth to lay strong foundations for their marriages by engaging in essential pre-marital conversations that align with Islamic values.
Being Purposeful and Intentional in Marriage
Islam teaches that marriage is not only a personal union but also an act of worship and a pathway to gaining Allah’s pleasure. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) emphasized the importance of marriage as a Sunnah, a path to follow for all Muslims:
“النِّكَاحُ مِنْ سُنَّتِي فَمَنْ لَمْ يَعْمَلْ بِسُنَّتِي فَلَيْسَ مِنِّي”
“An-nikāḥu min sunnatī faman lam ya’mal bi sunnatī falaysa minnī.”
Translation:
“Marriage is my Sunnah, and whoever does not follow my Sunnah has nothing to do with me.”
(Sunan Ibn Majah 1845)
Marriage is a partnership that involves trust, love, and dedication. Being intentional about marriage means that both partners must be clear about their roles, expectations, and vision for the future. It’s important for young Muslims to realize that marriage is not just about emotional satisfaction but also about personal growth, responsibility, and striving for the pleasure of Allah (SWT).
Essential Conversations for Building Strong Marriages
Before marriage, it is crucial for couples to have meaningful discussions about their values, goals, and future plans to ensure that their union is built on a strong foundation. Some of the most important topics to discuss include:
1. Faith and Spiritual Growth
A marriage grounded in faith is more likely to succeed. Discuss your spiritual goals and how you plan to grow together in your relationship with Allah. The Qur’an teaches us that righteous partners help each other attain closeness to Allah:
“رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا”
“Rabbanā hablana min azwājinā wa dhurriyyātinā qurrata a’yunin waj’alnā lilmuttaqīna imāman.”
Translation:
“And those who say, ‘Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.'”
(Surah Al-Furqan, 25:74)
Spiritual compatibility is essential for a successful Islamic marriage. Couples should discuss their approach to prayer, fasting, zakat, and other religious obligations to ensure harmony in their spiritual lives.
2. Life Goals and Ambitions
What are your aspirations in life? How do you envision balancing your personal and professional goals with the responsibilities of marriage and family life? These are important questions to answer to ensure mutual support and understanding as you embark on your marital journey.
3. Finances
Financial discussions before marriage are crucial. Who will manage the household expenses? What are your views on saving, budgeting, and debt? Discussing financial responsibilities early on will help avoid misunderstandings and conflicts later.
4. Roles and Responsibilities
In Islam, the roles of husband and wife are distinct but complementary. While the husband is tasked with providing for the family, the wife plays a nurturing role. However, modern marriages require flexibility, and it’s important for couples to discuss how they will share household responsibilities.
5. Family and Children
What are your expectations regarding starting a family? Do you both want children, and if so, how many? Discussing parenting styles and education in an Islamic environment ensures that you are aligned in raising righteous offspring. The Qur’an reminds us of our responsibility toward our families:
“يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ”
“Yā ayyuhā alladhīna āmanū qū anfusakum wa ahlīkum nāran waqūduhā annāsu walhijāra.”
Translation:
“O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.”
(Surah At-Tahrim, 66:6)
6. Conflict Resolution
No marriage is without its challenges. However, Islam teaches us to approach conflict with kindness and patience. The Prophet (PBUH) said:
“خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِنِسَائِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِنِسَائِهِ”
“Khayrukum khayrukum li-nisā’ihī wa ana khayrukum li-nisā’ihī.”
Translation:
“The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.”
(Sunan al-Tirmidhi 1162)
Having a clear understanding of how to resolve disputes with respect and love will help you maintain harmony in your marriage.
How NASFAT Counseling Can Help
At NASFAT Counseling, we are dedicated to supporting Muslims as they prepare for marriage, offering a variety of services that help couples navigate these essential conversations with the guidance of experienced counselors. Our pre-marital counseling program focuses on helping couples build strong foundations based on Islamic principles, mutual respect, and open communication.
Our services include:
- Marital Counseling: For couples at any stage of their marriage.
- Conflict Resolution & Mediation: Helping resolve disputes peacefully.
- Empowerment & Career Counseling: Supporting individuals to grow in their careers while balancing family responsibilities.
- Matchmaking: For singles seeking partners who share their values.
Take Action Today
Preparing for marriage is a significant step, and we are here to help you navigate the journey. Whether you’re seeking guidance on how to approach these essential conversations or need support in your current relationship, NASFAT Counseling is available to assist you.
You can chat with our counselors directly on WhatsApp or visit our website at nasfatcounseling.org. Take the first step toward a fulfilling and purposeful marriage by reaching out today.
Conclusion: Building a Lasting Union
Marriage is a sacred bond that requires intentionality, effort, and faith. By engaging in meaningful conversations before marriage and aligning on values, goals, and responsibilities, couples can build a strong and lasting union that is pleasing to Allah.
At NASFAT Counseling, we are committed to helping you build that foundation. Whether through pre-marital counseling, conflict resolution, or career support, our counselors are here to guide you every step of the way.